How to Develop Your Inner Queen (The Lifecycle of a Woman) | The Better Than Rich Show Ep. 27

From Girl to Queen

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From Girl to Queen 〰️

How to Develop Your Inner Queen - The Lifecycle of a Woman

So, you’re feeling pretty confident if you’re on your journey into the next levels of manhood if you’re one of our male listeners…

…but, we we worried our better halves were feeling left out!

This week we’ll be covering all things BECOMING WOMAN.

And, you guessed it - much like the male counterpart - there’s MANY levels to go through on your journey to QUEEN.

Want to know about the 2 different tracks to development as a woman? Or even what the difference is between your princess and masculine stages are?

Hurry up and go check it out already!

And we can’t wait to hear what you think!

Mike Abramowitz 00:00
You gotta have empathy for where the opposite sex is. I mean, you know, whether it's your partner, whether it's a sister, whether it's your parent, just being able to be aware of like, what their journey is like, it's going to allow you to have a little bit more empathy for them, and understanding of just where they're at in the world. Welcome to the better than rich show with your hosts, Andrew Biggs and Mike Abramowitz. The better than rich show helps ambitious leaders who are on a mission to leave the world better than they found it changed their perspective on what's important, increase their income and impact and systemize their life and business. If you've ever struggled with finding your purpose have felt disconnected or distracted or found yourself going through the motions. This show will remind you that what you do matters and will re inspire you to chase your highest dreams. It's time for you to become better than rich.
Andrew Biggs 01:08
Welcome back, everybody to the better than rich Show. I'm your host, Andrew Biggs and I'm here with my co host, Mike Abramowitz. Mike, how's it going?
Mike Abramowitz 01:15
I'm feeling good. I'm ready for see that the session to the lifecycle of a man and a woman sequence. So this topic, we already got such great reviews and comments on the lifecycle of a man. So now I'm very interested to see what's going to happen with a woman one with two dudes trying to explain.
Andrew Biggs 01:37
Absolutely, yeah. And if you're yet today, you have signed on to listen to two guys talk about the life cycle of a woman. So hopefully, we will do it justice. This is not necessarily our work. It is kind of an amalgamation of some work that Alison Armstrong has put together. As well as I want to send some props out to Elizabeth Webb, who's an incredible coach, you can check her out positive, positively elizabeth.com. She's a friend of mine. And she kind of walked us through a lot of this stuff as well. And this is something that we've presented out right, like to be fair, this isn't our first go around, we did this event about 40 people in Orlando, if you recall, and you know, the women there, they loved it, right. They love this content and helping them understand where they're at on their feminine journey, right. And as a starting point, I will share that if you haven't listened to the last episode, go back and listen to lifecycle of a man, whether you're a man or you're a woman, listen to this, make sure you listen to that. Because for the men, you really need to know what those stages are, so that you can actually adopt the responsibility and the mission that you're odd. And women, you really need to know what seeds Your man is in or the man that you're looking to attract is in and you can start to if you're going on dates or something, you can start to say, Oh, that's a night or he's a prince. And, you know, here's what he's got going for him. And here's what he's missing. So, so many good lessons from that episode. Here's what I'll say about this one, though, the lifecycle of a woman, and this probably won't surprise you is a little bit more complicated, right? Like, we were kind of laughing about this as we were going through it, but I mean, there's like twice as many stages. So you know, what, why do you think though, Mike, it matters for either a woman or a man listening to make sure that they they glean some, some insights from this episode,
Mike Abramowitz 03:24
you got to have empathy for where the opposite sex is, I mean, you know, whether it's your partner, whether it's a sister, whether you know, it's your parent, just being able to be aware of like, what their journey is, like, it's going to allow you to have a little bit more empathy for them, and understanding of just where they're at in the world, and also knowing what wounds that they have experienced or encountered during their journey. So not only to have empathy where you can understand, but also maybe a little bit of compassion, and, and willingness to meet them where they're at, I think is really important. So patients love, you know, it's, it's a beautiful thing when you could show up that way for your family or for your significant other.
Andrew Biggs 04:11
Absolutely, absolutely. Well, I'm excited to start breaking it down. And I'm going to kind of start by walking y'all through that there are two kinds of tracks, they ultimately will converge towards the end. And just like last time, where we ended at the king, this time, we are going to end at the queen. So the Queen and the mother are the two later stages. And those are the same, but there's kind of two tracks to get there. And there's kind of a more masculine track, and then there's a more feminine track. Let's start with the more traditional feminine track, and then we'll go to the more masculine track, which especially with just, you know, changing gender roles and you know, the messaging and society, whether it's good or bad or whatever. There are more women taking that that masculine track because a lot of times that's what's required of them in the workplace. And so Have you You will find yourself oftentimes on that track if you're listening, but also maybe you're attracted to the feminine path. And one of the things that I prefaced this when we were had our meeting in Orlando was, there's a little bit more, let's say, permeable borders between these, these levels of development in the female track versus the male. And so basically, what I'm going to share is, there might be times where just the Thrive a couple, like, you might be like a go getter, and you're like a professional, and you're really, really focused. But then like, later that night, you pull out your princess, right? And she shows up. And then like, the next morning, you're a little girl. And then like that weekend, your attempt trips, okay, which are all different stages that we're on. But there's a little bit more leeway, and play that goes into that. I mean, Mike, is there anything you want to say on that before we actually walk through the actual stages? But
Mike Abramowitz 05:55
what do you think? I'm glad you said it, because bouncing back and forth, even though the trajectories are like, there's like, say, a high or low or masculine, feminine, right? The bouncing back and forth consistently happens, I was having, I was having a conversation with one of my clients around this. That's why that was one of the inspirations around this conversation. It's like I said, we were talking, like I said, there's like the girl, like the tomboy version of a girl, you know, that wants to kind of compete with the boys. But then there's also the, the little girl or like the maiden who wants to, like play house and, you know, cook and stuff. And, and she's like, Yeah, that's totally me. I said, Yeah, and that's confusing as shit. Because it's like, you know, yeah, you're doing both, you know, kind of bouncing around between the two, it's like, it's a little different, you know, for a boy, it's like, you know, put it on the makeup, and then, you know, go into play sports, it's just not, it's just not a thing for, you know, the traditional life cycle of a man. But for a woman, just this bouncing back and forth, why that's so important for us as men to know and also for women to be aware of. That's why there's not going to be this place where it's like, oh, he's supposed to be like me, you know, a woman is not supposed to be like a man, a man's, you know, we have these different life cycles and these different journeys, so we don't have to be like each other. But it's important for us to understand one another of why we act, the way we act and why we do and operate the way we do. So, Andrew, talk to talk to me about this. I'd like to know when you do it, it's up to you how you want to do it. But I'd love to know, the way I received it. When you did it was like tomboy, and little the tumble and little girl like those are like, how does that contrast? Yeah, how they contrast from like zero to 12 years old, and like the 13 to 16 year old version of the Maiden and the girl power. Because that way, I think when I received it, when I learned it, showing how it's they fluctuate back and forth versus this life cycle and this life cycle, that would be really,
Andrew Biggs 07:50
that's fair. That's great. So at the earliest stage, and again, if you you know, this if you listened to last episode, but we had the boy to hear we have the little girl, right, that's on the feminine side. And then on the more masculine side, for the for the female journey is the tomboy. And so let's start with the little girl, a little girl is kind of like the little sweetheart, right? And she's probably modeling herself a little bit more off of mom than dad, right? And she's fulfilling a little bit more, she's taking more interest in the more feminine things, right? She wants to play with dolls, and she wants to brush her hair. And she wants to paint your fingernails and she wants to have a tea party. Right? And this is like the typical female thing. Like she's watching or little girl thinks she's watching, you know, the movies. And she's, she's identifying with Snow White and Cinderella, right? And so she's a little bit more in that vein of this little girl who just wants to be a sweetheart wants to be a little princess. And that's beautiful. Right? And that's a little bit contrasted though, with the tomboy. And she's taking a little bit more of a masculine track. And by the way, I think it just needs to be said when when we're talking about gender and just how much of a hot bucket hot topic that is a hot button issue that is, you know, it's there are masculine way women and there are feminine dudes, okay? That's okay. It's okay to be a masculine woman. And it's okay to be a feminine dude, in 99.9% of the time, that doesn't mean you're the opposite gender. Okay. I just want to say that that's what the statistics show watchful waiting. Okay, when someone's questioning their gender is the right approach, right, especially with young people. So if you're in a position to you know, influence that I realize some people are going to disagree, and we're going to spark a controversy in the in the comments out there, these guys tell me what to think. I'm not telling you what to think I'm just telling you and reflecting what the data suggests. So the tomboy though, is taking a little bit more of a masculine approach. and maybe she's modeling herself off of data a little bit more, right? She's She's wanting to do sports, she's taking an interest in, you know, what are the guys doing, hey, I want to I those guys are racing, I'm gonna go race them to right? Dad's going fishing, I want to go fishing with him, right? Anything a guy can do I can do as well, right. So this is what the Tomboy is and that kind of moves once like puberty hits, we start to move into the Maiden and the girl power. So the maiden is in the feminine track the girl powers and the masculine track. And the maiden is kind of like playing house, right? She's, she's babysitting for the local kids in the neighborhood. She's babysitting her little sister and her little brother, she's helping around the house and with mom and, and, you know, learning kind of how mom operates, right? She's taking an interest in those things, and she enjoys being a caretaker to others, even at a young age, she's already starting to do those things. Whereas the girl power is kind of like anything a guy can do, I can do better, right? It's a very, like, you know, Where are the boys out, I want to I want to compete with them, I want to play football, in fact, right? Who says I care. And again, that's a beautiful energy to be putting out there to say I'm going to be somebody who can't be ignored, who doesn't, doesn't have to, to be a second, you know, I don't need to be slower than the guy, I'm gonna go try to beat him, right. And so this is kind of the energy of the girl power, and the journey that they're on. And I want to actually pause there for a second, I can kick it to you. And then we can talk about this next stage, because it is a pretty big shift from this side of like younger energies, right, kind of like, early, you know, early development, and then kind of like, you know, teen to 16, you know, kind of like, early awkward years, sort of a sort of a phase, because we're gonna get into the other phases here in a second. But what are your thoughts on this, like, early development for for women?
Mike Abramowitz 11:54
Well, in that early development, they're, they're starting to lay foundations, where which one is going to be maybe a little bit more prominent, maybe not. To that is like, kind of foundational, for example, if they're, like the maiden, The maiden is kind of like laying this foundation for popularity, you know, like, you know, fitting, not fitting in, but being being like that caretaker, they said, it's like, I want to be around my friends, and I want to be popular. And if you notice, like, that's kind of that that made him where the girl power was, like, I really don't give a shit, I don't care. You know, if I have a lot of friends, or I don't, I just want, I'm gonna get results, I'm gonna kick some ass, I'm gonna take some names. And, you know, maybe they happen to be popular. But like, that's not like a big motive. I wouldn't say that if you're motivated by being an outcast, but they're also not motivated to fit in. And I think that made it might be more a little bit more motivated to fit in, maybe avoid some of that conflict, where the where the, the girl power is like, yeah, conflict, bring it on, like, I don't care. So I think because of that, this, this, this young female might want both, and bounce back and forth between like, I want the results. And I also want to fit in. And this is where the complexities of social media come into play, because social media then says, Wait a minute, I have a video of you, being a tomboy, or a video of you being this girl power of results, you're supposed to fit into this box, you can't be a popular girl and be in the kitchen cooking and doing all this feminine shit, you have to fit in this box is a masculine girl, because that's what we saw you do. And this is what has a million views. And that's what everyone knows you as. And now, this teenage girl doesn't have the emotional intelligence or the capacity to say to themselves, well, I want to do both. So instead, they kind of conform into what the social media society is telling them to do. And most of the time parents or teachers aren't really equipped on this conversation topic, either. So it's confusion. And that's where we're at, it's so important for you, as a listener, to just be aware of like, where not only for you, but also where some of these little girls are on this developmental journey. So you can again, meet them where they're at and help them see like, that's totally normal. That's okay. Yeah, you don't have to fit into society's box. You
Andrew Biggs 14:21
know, I mean, especially early on, like, everyone's trying to find out their identity. I think for women, it's even harder, right? I would say in some ways, like, you know, for men, it's a little easier in this department. There's a little bit less judgment and a little bit less criticism, and, you know, oftentimes how men settle things is through physical altercations, right? Or at least the threat of physical altercations. You mentioned on the last episode, you know, that you have, you've been in a few fistfights yourself, right, and that that was part of growing up right. With women, that's typically not the case. Typically, how they engage in competition is reputation, you know, destruction. So it's like how can I soil someone's reputation or how can I spread a rumor? And these are very, very common things that you know, girls of this age will, will speak to and say, Are women listening to this can go back? Oh my gosh, like, yeah, the rumors and the way people treated me in middle school was the worst, right or whatever. And this is very much. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you have a daughter in this age range, or something like that, encourage her to just explore both right? Or whatever it is, she's leaning into, just encourage that, and encourage her to not need to be one thing and that to see yourself as one thing that she can be multiple things that we can be all of us can be multiple things right? At different times in our lives. So the next stage is really like moving into start kind of like the equivalent of the knight on the men's side. For the for the females, and this is her, you know, right around that, you know, 18 or, or maybe a little bit younger, but basically, it's like the temptress and the go getter. So the the go getter is on the masculine side, the temptress is more on the feminine side. And the temptress is basically, you know, she's starting to recognize that she can actually affect how things operate based on just showing up. Right. So the temptress is she's starting to explore sexuality, she's starting to understand that maybe men are even paying attention to her right? Or that if I act a certain way, I can gain attention from men or from women, right? who maybe want to be like that, like me if I kind of play up my my sensuality. And so this is the temptress. And, you know, I think it's an important stage, right, it's an important stage for a woman to embody her sexiness, right? And, and love her body and love who she is and love, you know, that like to feel sexy, and to be willing to be sexy, as comfortable as she is, right? And that's going to mean different things to different women, of course, you know, of course, this can be taken too far, right? And maybe it becomes almost like the only value that this woman has, and then she, you know, only finds her fulfillment through the attention of men, right? You probably know, some women like that, typically, they aren't super happy, right? Because, you know, unfortunately for all of us, our youth and beauty will fade. Okay, so I hate to break that to you, but 100% of us are going to die 100% of us, our youth and our beauty will escape us some quicker than others. Fair enough. Some people are more beautiful than than others. Fair enough. But no matter what you're gonna, you're gonna get old, you're gonna lose your youth and beauty. And if you define yourself by that, how happy are you going to be when you're in your 40s and 50s and 60s, right? And then the opposite of not the opposite, but the the the other side of this is the go getter. And this is like the overachiever. Right? The overachiever type? who's like, you know, she's valedictorian, right. She had a 4.0 She got a full ride to Stanford, she's, you know, pretty mad. She's like, she's constantly focused. She's like, pre med and pre law, right? And like, just constantly focused on like, achievement, and it's almost like a knight in, in the male track, but in the female package, and so, but she is constantly focused on proving herself on accomplishing things. And, you know, she's like, I'm captain of the soccer team. And I got a four point out, and you know, I already have, you know, 30 college credits heading into my freshman year of college because my took my AP classes, or whatever. And so this sort of go getter energy is preparing her for the workforce. And that's kind of, you know, sometimes these these women negates the temptress entirely, or sometimes it's a little underdeveloped, because they're just focused on other things. But Mike, what are your thoughts on the temptress in the go getter?
Mike Abramowitz 18:51
So the temptress, I had written down in my notes is, is like the flirt is so so and I love what you said about that. As a temptress is learning about herself. She might flirt a little bit, she's just uncovering, like realizing that it's like, wow, I could get people's attention. And I also like that you said that other people are watching like, maybe the maidens are watching this temptress. And she likes being like this little like a role model for these other meetings and whatnot. So I think that's really beautiful. And then you have this maiden who also says, I also want to be a track star, and or I want to I want to rocket swimming or going to rocket softball. So it's like, being able to bounce between those is perfect. It's amazing. It's exactly normal. And coming back to what I said before society says no, you play a sport so therefore you also can't be this flirtatious, you know, sexy version of you. In some cases, some cases it's also like, honored and braced. And I think that's really important for you listener, again, to just reflect back on not just on you, but also reflect back on, you know, people in your life that are in these stages. The challenge, again, coming back to this social media is they want to put you in a box, don't, don't let them don't put be put in this box, don't let society don't let your peer group put you in a box. And that's why it's important for you to be aware of it. I would also say if you're older, you know, and you're no longer the temptress are no longer the go getter, but you still finding yourself wanting that attention based upon achievement or based upon results or based upon your sexiness or based upon, you know, attraction. I think it's important for you, as a mature listener to say, what injures question he poses? Is this bringing me the fulfillment that I want in my life? Is this really what I want to be known for? Do I want to be known for just the person who gets results? Or do I want to be known for just the person who is attractive and looks beautiful? The answer to the question might not be yes, it might be something more than that. And that's why as we enter into like Princess and professional and mother and Queen, it's important for you to think about what are the what are the character traits of these individuals? What are their values that they embody? More so than just looks or results? So, Andrew,
Andrew Biggs 21:18
right. Absolutely. And I think it's, this is just some really, really great points. And to be to be quite frank, I think, like, more so than the men in our journey, women again, you could be a queen today, and then like calling your temptress like later this evening, right? Like, and it's like, just making sure you kind of get a mix. And it's like, you know, jumping back and forth. And here and there is normal for you. You're comfortable with that. Right? Even as somebody who's who's been further along, so it's like, yeah, I hope that my wife never loses her temptress energy. Right, like, let's hope not, right, because that's, you know, that'd be sad. And it would be missing that that sexual spark that hopefully would, you know, continue long into our, you know, leader years, right. And so it's like, you we don't want men don't want a woman who's only one thing, right? And women you listening, you don't want to just be one thing. So I think this is just some some really good points. By the way. The other thing, I would just encourage you, if you're listening, you're like, oh, yeah, you're maybe you're reflecting back on your childhood. Think about what path you took, and what developmental journey you took, and what sort of stories that you picked up along the way. Maybe you picked up one of those stories that you can't be both right. And just think about that. Right? If you're if you're a woman listening to this saying, you know, yeah, did I kind of ignore my temptress because I was so focused on getting great grades, and, you know, proving my worth, that the guys or hate, I kind of, you know, miss out on some of my like achievement energy, because I was just focused on my popularity, and I'm flirting or whatever. And so look at your stories that you picked up along the way and how they're affecting you today. The next two stages on the on the feminine side is the princess and, um, the, the masculine side, it's the professional. And the princess is, you know, somebody who's basically kind of, maybe she works a little bit, but mostly she's focused on domestic life, right. So she's interested in kind of being a princess and being taken care of, and, and being somebody who also takes care of her, her her what's in her purview, but ultimately isn't as interested in these outward achievements is more focused internally on herself on her serving her husband, and serving her family. Right. And so it's, it's really about this sort of, like, you know, the, again, a little bit more of a traditional gender role, position where it's like, okay, I'm just focused on being a great homemaker and focused on things domestically. And being taken care of, right. And like, this an interesting kind of debate, right? Like, it's like, is it okay for women to want to be taken care of? It's just a question that popped up in my head. And I think I had my answer, but I want to hear yours. Like, what are your thoughts on like, this desire that I think sometimes it's, it's, you know, almost like, why do you need a man like, a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle, or whatever? And it's like, well, you know, I'm just maybe it would be nice to be taken care of every once in a while, but like, I don't know what what comes up for you might
Mike Abramowitz 24:38
not not a great response, but there you go. And the reason why I think it depends is is do you have an aspiration of having kids, because if if there's kids in the mix, then I think it changes a little bit of the dynamic, but I think if it's just someone who wants to be taken care of and they're in their early stages and they're not ready to have kids or maybe kids wasn't in the path for them. And I think the speaking openly I think it could potentially potentially create challenge in the relationship in the sense that a true man, a true man is one to have, is gonna want to have at some point, not a worthy opponent. It's not it doesn't sound good, but like, they do want to be challenged in the relationship. And if they are only coming home to someone that they are just taking care of consistently, I think it could potentially create some level of disconnect. Hmm, possibly.
Andrew Biggs 25:41
Sure, sure. And I think I think it's a good answer. And I think we're, my thoughts are, it's okay to want to be taken care of ladies. Like, it's okay. Like part of our role. I should say, No, yeah, totally. And I want to, I'm gonna, I'm gonna speak to that, too. But it's like, it's part of our role is to be like a protector and a provider, right? And we enjoy that. And, again, what hypergamy would suggest is that women marry up and across socio economically, right, and then marry across and down. And that's not just a Western civilization thing, you can find that at all across the globe. And so, typically, women find men who make more money than them more attractive than guys who make less than them. That's probably not that surprising. Maybe it's politically incorrect to say, but if you look at the marriage statistics, that's what everything suggests. So. So I would say it's okay to want to be taken care of, from time to time, and also it's gonna get old. Right? If you're this not just the princess, but a spoiled princess, you know, like you are a princess who just has who's entitled. Right. And I think my basically, what I think Mike's getting at is like, there's a difference between a stay at home wife and a stay at home mom, right? It's like, I'm not super interested in having to stay at home wife, because it's like, what are you doing all that right? stay at home mom, though. Like she's working more than me. Let's be honest, you know. So it's like, and other types of work. I tried taking care of our, you know, newborn infant, and let her work for a week one time, and I was completely broke. And I was like, in tears. And she's like, I do this all day, every day. I'm like, I know, I can't do it. So it's like, it's a completely different skill set. And it's, it should be honored and valued. And so it's like, what does the partnership look like? It's kind of what I hear you asking Mike. And I think it's okay. Excuse me if it's not linear, but there does need to be like, some contribution coming from both sides.
Mike Abramowitz 27:49
And men, a lot of men, I mean, we like to be the hero, you know, we want to show hero we want to be needed. Right? I think that's important. I actually had one of my clients asked me like, what's the difference between being needy and needed? And I asked the tribe, this asked a couple of people in my life, like, what is your explanation? What's the difference? And like, you know, how does how does a woman know like, Shit, I want to, I want to make sure that my man needs me, but I don't want to feel like I'm needy. And I think it was an interesting topic. I think you had a great response to that I didn't. That's why I asked everyone. So
Andrew Biggs 28:25
yeah, we were walking through it in our group chat. And we were talking just about, you know, the idea of just doing your best to not compete with your, with your partner, right, is a really important thing. And so if everyone's had keeping track, right, like, well, I made this much money. And then it's like, well, I changed this many diapers. And I did this many dishes. And I took the trash out this many times. And just like, you know, if we're constantly comparing and keeping track, you can turn really resentful really fast, right? Whereas if, if you can just be honestly appreciative of your man, when he brings him to vacant or when he takes the trash out, or whatever he does, that's gonna go a long way, and hopefully he'll reciprocate as well. So, so that's kind of like the princess, right? Again, it's cool to be a princess, it's cool to be taken care of, and also find a way to contribute as well. So you don't become the entitled spoiled princess. And then the professional is someone who's really not focused on domestic life. You know, this is kind of like, I kind of think like 20s 20 to 3020 to 35, maybe these days is like the professional and the princess stages. But like, this person is just a little bit more focused on her career, right? She's focused on how do I advance how do I position myself very much in the corporate cut, right to say, I'm going to be taken seriously in the corporate world. I'm going to be delivering on a daily basis. I have so many skills, a lot of them. A lot of times, I'm better than than most of the men in the room or all the men in the room and I'm going to show it and Why not? Right? When you're smart, when you're talented, when you're educated? When you're training? When you have all these skills, why wouldn't you know, you want to do that. And, you know, the professional is a really great opportunity for a woman to define herself, not just through her relationships, I think sometimes the princess can kind of fall into everything is defined by a relationship, and maybe doesn't have as many hobbies or interests or outside things, whereas the professional has a life that's independent of her relationships. Now, one of the downsides of the professional is, I see this a lot where someone, you know, is making 200 300 500 grand a year, but they're working like 60 to 80 hours a week. They're like, do you know that really taking care of their health or just pounding coffee, they don't get enough sleep there. You know, she's doing a great job. She's invaluable at the company, her company never wants to see her go. And yet, she's like, man, like, what's it all for? You know, if I don't have the man in my life that I want to have? I don't have children yet. And they start to question that. So that is a unique challenge that you want to watch out for. Because I imagine a lot of the women listening aren't can find themselves right now in this professional role, or in this sort of stage. Mike, what any thoughts on this? Before we move to the mother?
Mike Abramowitz 31:21
Yeah, the big thought is they have a time clock. So that's the one thing that a woman has that the man doesn't. So we, you know, we that's just what it is, science is science. So the challenge there is for the professional is if they spend so much time on getting the results, building their business higher climbing up the ranks, and now they're in their mid 30s. Well, you know, if we didn't, if that Vmail didn't spend the time on loving herself, entering into that feminine core, attracting the opposite sex or attracting a family into her life or whatnot, well, that body clock is ticking. And if you ask someone who is maybe a little bit older, like the old maid, or a goddess, you know, either one, but if you are a mother, and you talk to one of these people, they might even tell you, Hey, if you're on this professional track, you might want to get your eggs frozen, when you're in your 20s. And just keep going on this professional track. You know, just store them and freeze them so that we have like 2527 year old eggs that are frozen. So when you do find that, you know, you know time where you want to be that mother, at least you have this like insurance policy, and the clock isn't against you. And I don't think that's talked about enough in our society. And it kind of goes on the other end with the man too. And obviously, it's a whole nother topic. But you know, we just believe that this cycle, it's just very like, Oh, this is how it's supposed to be, I make my money, and then I get into a relationship. And then I have my kids and then we start this new journey together. And it's just like a fairy tale sometimes, you know. So we do, we do want to kind of be cautious a little bit on the professional side, due to the body clock would be my thought there.
Andrew Biggs 33:07
And again, a lot of times when we think about what really matters, it's like, you know, family matters, right? And, and relationships matter and love matters. And like, you know, if you, if you quit your job, you know, today, if you're a professional who's fitting that mold that might just describe, you know, your company might miss you, right? Because you're extremely productive and extremely valuable, but they would find a replacement. Nobody can have your children for you. Right? So it's like, and no one can be their mom. So other than you. So that is part of your destiny. Should you want that for yourself. And again, here's what I'd say, most of the time, that's the right move. If you're not going to have children, fair enough, you definitely need to find another outlet to mother, or you're going to be pretty unhappy and turned into an old maid later in life. And it's interesting what you said about the the eggs and stuff. I mean, obviously, you know that better than than most because you've gone through these these treatments and different things like that. But you know, yeah, something, something to consider. Unfortunately, there's a there's an old saying where the old man goes to the young man and says, you know, my one piece of advice is to remember the law moves so fast. And the tragedy is that the young man will never believe him. But that's, that's an old saying. So women maybe, maybe actually consider what Mike is bringing forth and the wisdom, even if you're young and you think I'm gonna be Prince Charming next year.
Mike Abramowitz 34:42
And the reason why I bring it up is because we're doing IVF and it's male factor, but my wife and I are in a lot of IVF groups. So the IVF in vitro process so there's a lot of these women who have miscarriages and failed, failed, you know, pregnancies nonstop over and over. and over again. And it's like, sometimes it's due to male factor. And it's, in fact, one out of four times it's due to male factor. But like, not many people think that's going to happen to them. But we're in these communities of 10s of 1000s of people that we encounter their story, and we never think it's going to be us. But then when it is, it's like, oh, shoot, you know, what are we going to do about it? And I just think it's important for us, you know, in this community at better than rich to offer that wisdom. So if you're like, in that late 20s, early 30s type of phase, and you're like, I don't know, if I want to have kids, maybe it potentially could be a good insurance policy to say, let me really, you know, get counsel, and, you know, really strategize through this. Because ultimately, there is a little bit of a clock kind of ticking a little bit. For many women. And I know, one of my sisters, unfortunately, I mean, she just got to that place in life where it was just too late. You know, she, she tried and now she's in her 50s. And that's one if you ask her, it's one of her biggest regrets is that she wasn't able to have kids because she was so focused on her career. I mean, she was a private school teacher went to NYU, she racked up a lot of student loan debt, worked a lot, dedicate a lot of retirement energy to like, really learn and become a great teacher, which is awesome. But now it's like, shoot, I really wish that maybe I made I don't want to say there's regret. But there is a little bit of like, heavy heaviness there.
Andrew Biggs 36:30
Yeah, absolutely. And I think that they've kind of nicely transitions us into this next, you know, kind of stage and that is the mother stage. And this is where these two lines will converge. So mother and queen are both the same for all all women, but the mother stage is, you know, you start to obviously eat maybe you actually are become a mother, right? And so your mothering children, and you're obviously taking care of them. And if you're not, you're starting to get that motherly impulse, right, maybe around 30 or so late 20s, early 30s. And, you know, even if you aren't a mother, maybe your mothering your friends, right? You're, you're giving them sort of motherly advice, maybe your your mothering, you know the people in your office or something and it's like, Hey, guys, just so you know, I cooked for everybody, and, you know, Friday's lunch, I went ahead and took care of everything. And Steve, you're looking a little sick, did you need any medicine and I have some cough syrup here. Like, you're just starting to Mother pigs, because you can't help it right. And, and so maybe you're, you're in that stage, and you can relate to this. But no matter what, when you're gonna start to have this sort of like maternal instinct, kick in, whether it's for your children, and that's, that's, um, you know, who you're gonna mother or it's those around you, maybe you're even mothering a cause, maybe your mothering an idea, a project, something that matters, though, you're not mothering, just your career, you're mad at your mothering something else, right? Besides yourself. Whereas, mostly, you know, this is not different than the men but it's like, generally before 30, we're really kind of just focused on ourselves, who we are our path to success, and, you know, our journey. And this is where it starts to shift, though towards, you know, looking at others. So, that's the mother. And then finally, there's the queen. And this is where not only have you kind of you've mothered for a while, oftentimes you've mothered for 1020 30 years. But when you're the queen, you start to see being the mother of all right, where, you know, you're mothering, not just your family, right? Because oftentimes, like, you gotta be kinda like, protective and like, throw a few elbows, you know, to be a mom and like, protect your kids, like, whether that's like from bullying on the playground, or it's like, the the teacher who got the grade wrong or whatever. It's just like, you're a little bit like protective and like you're at the playground, you're like scanning around to see like, is there any threats on the horizon? Because like, that's part of being a mother, you're protecting that. You know, when your kids get a little older, maybe you're an empty nester, you start to turn that towards, you know, well, what if I was a mother to my community? What if I was a mother to my church? What if I was a mother to this cause in the world and you start to mother, the entire world, the entire planet, and hopefully you're stewarding it in a direction that's really meaningful. So those are the my thoughts about the mother and the queen? We can also hit on the old maid here as well. But Mike,
Mike Abramowitz 39:33
what are your thoughts on the Goddess? Because that's like, the Vert the female version of the Lord the one who's like, you know, King is great, but I'm kind of content over here. Yeah, I don't really I don't really need a mother communities and people and shit like that, you know? Yeah, the goddess is like, I'll just mother myself and then the old maid is like, forget this feminine stuff. I'm not kind of old and bitter but what what's your what's your
Andrew Biggs 39:58
ex? Yeah, I think like the Oh, Old Maid old maid is kind of like this bitter, resentful woman who, who really just, you know, maybe things didn't go her way. Maybe she's in a marriage that she's really unhappy. And maybe she couldn't have kids. Maybe she tried playing around with a temptress and got burned in maybe even was sexually abused or something. And so she shut down her sexuality and hid her body and hid who she was, and, and tried to, to really just create this protective shell around herself. And so, you know, that's kind of the old maid. And, you know, we can probably think about some, some women that you, you know, personally who might fit that category. And it's not a it's not a super endearing place to be. Right. And, you know, sometimes it's not even their fault, necessarily, because maybe they were a victim. But what does it look like to regain your power? And what does it look like to get rid of your resentment? What does it look like to forgive yourself for something you did? Like, these are questions that I would ask if you're like, oh, you know, I don't want to put myself in the old man category. But part of me is like, if I were to be honest, I am a little bit or I am a little resentful. I am a little cynical. I don't like man, you know, I think all men are shit. And, you know, my kids don't talk to me and like, or whatever. So it's like, when you start to get to that place? What are you going to do to crime Klein out? Like, how are you going to get back on track? I think getting counsel is really important, whether it's through a community like ours, and coaching like ours, or hydrotherapist, I don't care how you do it, but you need to unwind and unravel some of these things you've been hiding. And some of these things you've been keeping, locked down, and then the goddess, you know, actually have like a more positive connotation of the Goddess and the goddess is kind of like this connection to your intuition. And the way Elizabeth describing to me was, like, just the, the obvious, and I don't think this is comes as a surprise. But I do think women, typically, okay, again, these are talking broad strokes. It's not like, there's this is all women versus all men or anything like that. But typically, they tend to be more connected to intuition than men are, they tend to be more connected to nature connected to the earth a little bit more than the men are. And so the goddess can kind of is an energy you can call on when you need to, to where it's like, I need some, so like, Mother Earth wisdom here. How can like what do I need to do and like reconnect to that, that grounded, purposeful intuition that you have as a as a woman? And if you haven't been connected to that as much lately, it might feel a little out of practice. But you need to work on that. And make sure you're developing that intuition. And then, you know, it's like, hey, what do I need right now that I need to be a temptress, I need to be a princess and go getter, a professional queen, a mother, what have you. But that's my interpretation of the Goddess. So, Mike, we got a couple minutes left before we gotta head for the exits. But closing thoughts
Mike Abramowitz 43:02
on that the goddess in my layman's terms that I have in my notes is the goddess feel safe with herself and who she is. And the old maid, just unfortunately, did not feel safe in with who she is and what she was becoming. So safety is very important when it comes to the life cycle of a woman. So doing what you can to surround yourself around things that make you feel safe, people that make you feel safe, I think is really important.
Andrew Biggs 43:27
It's a great, great, important reminder. And a lot of women driving their cars right now or nodding along and saying hell yes to that. Well, I honestly think this is a super thought provoking, and in some ways, sort of, you know, something that could spark conversation. So if you need any anything with this, if you have any questions with this, if you think we're completely full of shit, I don't care, let us know in the comments, or let us know as light into our DNS, let us know. We'd love to serve you or just have a conversation in general, right? On any of these topics that are that are somewhat charged, right? If we're going to be honest, you know, somewhat of a charged topic, but a lot of times topics that matter are charged. So that's all we have for today. Hope you've enjoyed this two part series on the life cycle of a man and the life cycle of a woman. Until next week. Remember to leave today better than you found it. Thanks.
Mike Abramowitz 44:23
Bye. Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, and you'd like to help support the show, please share it with others post about it on social media or leave a rating and review. To catch all the latest from us. You can follow us on Instagram at better than underscore rich and join our Facebook group at the better than rich show. Thanks again for listening. We look forward to seeing you next time and remember, leave today better than you found it
Transcribed by https://otter.ai